You wanna know the funny thing about addiction? It's hard to quit.
But I did. Rather cold turkey, I might add. I talked to a friend who was addicted with me and we've quit together. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done, to let go of something in my life that felt soooo good, but I know it's right, and somewhere, deep down, even in the most tempting moments, I'm proud of us. The temptation is sill there in a HUGE way, and while I know the easiest thing would be to get rid of temptation, isn't there something to be said for resisting it? It somehow makes me feel stronger to not give in, not even a little. Sometimes the temptation is so strong it makes me feel weak, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that I'm being strong. Something reassures me, and I think it's Jesus. He reminds me I'm being courageous, because life is hard to face, and it's even harder when you give up something that made you feel amazing and that let you forget.

So here's what I don't like about college: There are no little kids! I didn't realize how much I missed their energy and sweetness till I got to see my cousins over thanksgiving. I enjoy being the older one, the one they look up to, and I miss the cuddles for sure. I'm remembering that as much as my siblings stress me out, I miss them and I miss being there to watch them grow up. However, the parallel came to mind that as much as I miss them, it doesn't hurt like it used to. It kinda pangs at the moment, but on a daily basis I don't feel unfulfilled. I've learned to live without them, and it gives me hope that I'll learn to live without drugs too, and that someday, this dull frusturated feeling will go away.

~C